As men we can struggle with finding our purpose then, how to pursue it. For men, more than women living a life of purpose is key to having a powerful life.
This need can become an obsession to find your purpose so to be released, as David Deida describes in his book The Way of the Superior Man. If you get it right, then as a man you will feel this sense of accomplishment, being released from the burden of your work. The limitation of approaching life just for the release, or as some would say the kill of a predator stalking his prey, is the release is fleeting and ethereal. It is never enough.
True purpose is the why, not the accomplishment, not the content. I would say it is the how you are being and doing, the context. When reconnected to your purpose, the why or the how of your life now directs your actions, not someone else’s purpose. With your true purpose guiding you, your passion becomes the fuel for your life.
What is your desire, as Guy Sengstock asks in his podcast? What do you really want? I write about the importance of knowing what you want here. Discovering your want(s) is a multilayered process. In working with men and women, along with myself for over 30 years, I discovered that often what we think our purpose is, proves to be only the first layer. You may think you are working to make money, then you determine you are working also for recognition, then you find out you are working for something to do. This keeps going on until you hit the bottom – your purpose.
A man’s direction in life, totally related to his connection to his purpose – is what women are attracted to in a man. A woman instinctually wants a man who is living his purpose – you could also say, willing to die for it. She needs a man with purpose because he determines direction that allows her to align with something beyond herself, as my good female friend Chris says. I know, this sounds chauvinistic. It is not. We need women to ground our purpose and renew our spirit.
Years ago, I learned from studying with a shaman; men are the seed, women are the womb. Women take the seed to birth the baby. There is now greater honor than to be a mother of a baby or a man’s purpose.