I just finished watching the three DVD set put out by Authentic Man Program. I am impressed. Essentially, they teach what we do; but applied to attracting and relating to women.
Their premise is to attract women you need to be authentic. To be authentic you need to be presences. Being presence is about being in your body and accepting whatever is happening in the moment. If you can lead a Healing Journey, you can be show up powerfully for a woman in this way.
After teaching presence, they teach appreciation, then integrity, and then being whole, which naturally generates fun. Each of these layers builds on the previous layer(s). The most challenging, as we know is being fully authentic in our presences. Being mindful of my full experience sets up a place of choice – am I going to accept the full depth of my experience. To the extent I do, is the extent a woman will show up for me.
They contend and I would agree women not only know how present we are, they are always responding to it, for the most part unconsciously. Through some teaching and many demos, you start to get a sense of how to increase your presence. You see the men in the DVDs work on developing their ability to embody presence.
A key to the capacity to be present is you capacity to feel and accept your feelings. When I accept what I am feeling, I am telling the woman her feelings are ok.
Decker, the originator of the program speaks to how our body can hinder or aid us in our ability to be present. You can see that in the DVDs the men who have an easier time are the more relaxed ones. Decker doesn’t directly say this, but I will – if you get the old stress out of your body you are way ahead at easily dropping into being present.
Decker and his partner Bryan speak about the three levels of presence and you could say appreciation. The first is self, the next is other and the third is the “relationship,” how you are relating. Robert Bly calls the relationship the third body. As your ability to hold presence increases you will be able to maintain an awareness of three simultaneously.
They also speak about how we take ourselves out of being present. We either distract ourselves by moving our bodies or rambling with our conversation, or we contract our bodies to hold our feelings in.
My contention is if the men in our groups went out after a powerful meeting to a social function, every man would have women drawn to him. What we do in our meetings is what we need to do with women. Decker and Bryan are brilliant. Their under is to change men’s consciousness by teaching them how to attract women through being themselves. We know how do it, we just need to expand it to how we relate to women.
What Decker speaks about fits beautifully with what we learned from Alison Armstrong about how women are externally focused and men are internally focused. When we go deep inside ourselves, then accept what is occurring – this creates an inviting space for the woman to be more out there with her feminine beauty. Our capacity to connect to this masculine place, as David Deida says, is the determiner to how a woman shows up.
Their concept, our concept does not get any simpler. Mastering it does take some work.
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